.Conversations with my past about my future.

I asked the guy who I once called "The love of my life" (or better yet, the first guy I ever really loved, who broke my heart multiple times and I pined for, for about 4..maybe 5 years?) for advice about this love lost.

Yeah I've been through it all. I kind of lucked out though in one way because our lease was coming to an end at the place Alex and I were living and I was finishing up school, so a change was in order anyway and I was prepared a bit for it....As for the emotional pain you must be feeling, there's nothing anyone can really do to help that. Majority of relationships end in break up (otherwise everyone would marry the first person they dated!) and so its all just part of the learning experience of life. Just try not to let it stray you from the life you were pursuing outside of him (ie. school) and ride on the hope that it WILL get better and everything WILL be alright in time. Also, you will be that much more experienced and mature in your next relationship.One thing I highly recommend is to remove him from your facebook friends. You're only going to torture yourself by going to his page and seeing what he's up to. In fact, if you can't find it in yourself to throw everything out that is related to him (pictures, gifts, etc.), then maybe pack it all up in a box and give it to a friend and tell her not to let you look at any of it for at least a month. Then you can decide what to do with it.I'm not surprised he's being nice. He probably feels terrible about the whole thing. . But you have to understand that it is not their fault. If the feeling is gone, it's gone. It happens naturally, and there's nothing they can do about that. If this is the reason for the break up then it was for the best in the long run. Basically his options were either to break up or to go on pretending that there was still some feelings there. The latter can only end in disaster, so it's better to just end it now... And there are over 3 billion other guys in this world, so odds are there is always someone better out there for you.



If there are 3 billion guys out there then I think I've dated 1 billion of them.
It's just surprising because everything indicated that he was the one (cheese covered , I know) but I've never felt so compatable with someone, and as I write this , I think , it wasn't that long of a relationship...He was just my friend, my secret sharer, and he's still in the house, still around, so it makes it hard for me not to become a weeping mess "please , can we just cuddle? can we just lay here?" hoping maybe, just maybe he'll change his mind-He did once already(and then afterwards went on to say ' i dont know what i want')
Is 'I don't know' just a shelter for the bomb he should be dropping; 'I don't want you'.
Fuck.
I hate this...being able to talk about it with everyone but him.
I also hate the realization that I am no where near as mature as I thought I was, wouldn't a mature person be able to handle this so so so much better than I am?


"They only want you when you're 17, when you're 21, you're no fun