Don't be fooled, this is an actual blog tonight.
Fasten your seat belts kids, It's guna' be a bumpy ride.
This was my birthday weekend, and normally birthdays for me are not so good. They're awful; they're disappointing and I often set my expectations high and feel let down bu the end of it. Someone forgets to call, or the weather turns out to be crappy and I feel like someone is getting out a long lost vendetta against me.
The last great birthday I had was spent in Toronto with my friend Dave, just dinkin' around the town, looking at stuff, buying shoes, being silly.
I remember the thing about that year was that I had no expectations of anyone, I didn't think any further than to "Dave and I are going to Toronto".
That's exactly what we did. We went to Toronto and I was happy.
My grandma didn't call that year, my mum was on a bender, my brother was too young to care and there was no party or cake or celebration like that, but compared to all my years since no birthday could compare to how elated I felt that year.
That birthday was my sweet 16th.
Every year since has been awful and I understand now that some of that was me, and some of that was outside influences, but whatever the cause birthdays have generally bit the big one.
So this year I set my expectations low of my friends and family and decided to spend a birthday with just one person and be silly and see how I do.
This was the best birthday since 16.
The friends who did contact me I appreciated so much more, because I didn't expect them to contact me. Pretty messages wishing me love and I sincerely read every line from every person and thought about how wicked that person was and how lucky I was to be surrounded by cool, lovely people. The presents I received this year I cherish and the fact that my friends were with me just makes me feel like a baked chocolate chip cookie inside.
j.s I didn't take this, my very talented friend did.
I spent the first night in Toronto with a friend, catching up, hanging out, being high and listening in on pretty guitar jams that made me cry. Despite this encounter dousing me with too many emotions to deal with it was still nice. It was still real and it reminded me that sometimes disappointments are blessings in disguise, and sometimes a friendship will litterally be able to stand anything. Not a crazy party night by any means but it connected me with some realistic/life affirmation energy I had been seriously missing in my life.
Friday morning was full of happy moments, coffee ,kick ass breakfast and a sleep in before a day date. Yup, a date on my birthday.
About a week ago G.I Joe (the one from my last HMV day) and I decided to hang out on my birthday, because if there's any day to go on a date with a cute boy it might as well been my birthday. If it goes horribly it'll at least be a funny story to tell about turning 22 and if it goes well, then...well I'll have a great date on my birthday.
We went to the ROM and it was soo cool.
Dinosaur bones and the dead sea scrolls and the giant bugs and the bat cave.
He was adorable and took a billion photos.
Did I mention he's also a top notch hugger? I forgot how satisfying hugs are.
I don't know if it was him, the weed we smoked or the fact that we were in the ROM but I felt like, 10 years old around him. I just didn't mind being silly, or talking about what I believed or how I viewed things without holding back.It was an automatic natural comfortable Lauren state and I don't think I've been there since I was doing improv, when the motto was "don't think just be"
He kind of did that for me yesterday. If that's the last time I see him (which I hope its not) then at least I'll have remembered that feeling that comfortable is still possible.
We ate some delicious food.
"Welcome to Gabby's where the servers don't care and the bathrooms were gross"
And went to Bistro on College where we froze our asses off with Frenchie,F-Bomb and her friend. It was a pretty epic night. Cats eating placenta conversations and all.
This morning Kat and I went to Kensington where I was reminded of how magical Toronto can be sometimes. I also satisyfied my shopping addict with some much needed retail.
Tonight was the family dinner and a bottle of wine.
Epic weekend. Thanks ya'll.
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