.Train rides make me sleepy.

I don't have an everyday excuse to be in Toronto anymore.

I'm sad, but not in the empty pit of despair kind of way. More disappointed.

I start a new job tomorrow, but I'm not as excited as I could or should be, nor am I too nervous.

There are situations with certain people that I should be more concerned how the outcome is going to affect me. I should be worried, knowing damn well that when it ends it's probably going to be painful, but I'm not worried.

It's almost as if someone set my emotions to neutral. I'm happy, I know that because I don't feel pain anymore, life is going on smoothly, fun stuff is happening, but I feel so,...beige. Yup, there it is. I feel beige.

Everything is beige.

My dad told me today that in life you're not judged by your mistakes but by the actions you take to rectify them. I've bunged up a whole lot of stuff and taken stupid courses to fix them, so why is it that now, when I think I'm doing everything by the book, the way it should be done, why now do I feel beige when before I at least felt black or blue or grey or red or purple?

This makes sense in my head, I just don't know how to get colour back.
Boring boring beige.