.Spring time cuteness.

One of my favourite blogs had a feature on this adorable little song.
It's very spring timey, isn't it?

Coeur de Pirate || Comme des enfants from Dare To Care Records on Vimeo.

I found this too, it makes me want spring time patios and 20 degree 4 ams.

Ohbijou - New Years from explodingmotorcar on Vimeo.

Music like this makes me feel dreamy.Spring time, picnics, patios... The only thing to do when I feel dreamy is watch Amelie.

amelie from fadryke on Vimeo.

.Long Ride Home.

Since I was alone:

I pretended the bus home was actually a limo.

"Where to Miss? Straight home?"

"No, Chaaaarles, take the scenic route, I feel like a drive today"

The Wooden Sky's playing. You can't listen to the Wooden Sky and ride in a limo.



So now I'm on a Greyhound bus. It's sometime in the 50's.
I was engaged ,rather I am engaged to a man I don't love. I barely know him.
I'm heading east bound, to Nova Scotia. I just packed up and left town, I don't think my Mother even knows I've left yet. I'm going to find Jesse, my sweet Jesse. I hope he remembers me. I can't forget him.
It's almost too hot in here. Stuffy really.
I wonder if he'll be happy to see me. I'm so scared he won't be. I've never seen the ocean. I wonder if it's really takes salty, like they say it does.

[Dead Disco kicks in.]


Limo again.
I'm a fucking rock star. The limo was surrounded by people, plastering their bodies against the windows, trying to get closer to us, trying to touch me, hold onto something more than themselves for a second. Fans, what the fuck do they know about anything? Buy my record, buy my love. I'm the hottest thing since fucking Jesus, you can't buy that.
The days and nights are one giant kaleidoscope of a moment. The parties are always "so hard" as Max would say. They're hard and boring despite the coke and jack.
I fucked him, I fucked her, I fucked your mom and she liked it. Who cares though? Really? I could fuck you with a pole and you'd thank me afterwards. I'm high on stage, just high and it's the only part of all this shit that matters. It's worth it for that. In that I am a God.

[Panic at the disco? Ugh, shuffle shuffle. January Wedding]


Greyhound again. I'm always riding around on these darn things. Most days I don't mind but I can't sit still today.
Pretty little amber ring, I never thought I'd have one.
He slipped it on my finger the night before we left on tour.
He went on ahead today,something 'bout Milly's bacon sandwiches. South Carolina is so pretty this time of year so I stayed an extra night hoping to feel some inspiration from the land, ya know, get some work done without the distraction.
Silly girl, how'd I know that I'd miss him so? I'm all jittery, come on bus man, giv'er a little lead on the pedal!
I'm going to be his forever, not the bus man, my man, I'm going to be his woman and he's going to be my man forever.
I always knew in my heart that there'd never be anyone but him-but somethin' 'bout him askin' me:
" Baby, can I be yours forever?" makes me feel all shiny, inside and out.
It makes all of this seem so much more, well, better, ya know?

.Get Big.

Life is weird sometimes...okay, most times.

Tonight I'm upset about things I didn't think I'd be upset about, and really really happy about things I thought I'd hate.

Change is good, change is constant.

I can't promise that I'll be okay, I can promise I'll try but my heart and head don't usually have a team huddle before the big game of the day. I usually feel torn between what I know is for the better and what I feel could be for the best. Could it be for the best or do I just want what I can't have?
I'm throwing a 22 year old temper tantrum.
I want my cookies and milk and I want to be cuddled until I fall asleep.
It's strange, this being pulled thing. My head says "go along because it's for the best" my heart is a little sad but my core feels like a Bob Marley song.
"Every little thing gonna be alright."

Who knew there were a million different ways to love someone.

I feel better now. Not sad, just lonely. Happy but still wanting cuddles.

.How to look good naked.

I've been inspired to think about photography this weekend and having recently spent so much time dealing with women and their messed up perceptions of beauty I've decided that we should all get naked.

I think everyone should get a naked photo shoot of themselves in their 20's. That way you can look at yourself and think "I was hot stuff" when you're older. If you don't appreciate your body now you will when you don't have it anymore. I promise you won't think "I had fat thighs" or worry that your stomach was too big. You'll look back and remember how beautiful you were and wonder why you didn't appreciate it then.
I remember looking at a picture of myself in my early teens and thinking "Shit I was so skinny! Why did I ever call myself fat?" and that day I decided to pitch the words "fat" and "ugly" from my Lauren orientated vocabulary.
I am not fat. I may be sluggish, but I am not fat.
You are not fat, you are beautiful and perhaps you just need to eat less salt so you don't feel bloated or something, but you are not fat.

I think everyone is beautiful, no one is more beautiful than I am and I am no more beautiful than anyone. We're all waves from the same ocean;we're all water, we're all beautiful.

Clothes and make-up and other accessories of manufactured "beauty" are merely status symbols. If we all stripped down there would be a lot less to compare beauty with. We'd be more equal and then perhaps we could appreciate how gorgeous humans can be.
I think if we can't be naked all the time we should at least have a reminder of how beautiful we are naturally. Have a naked photoshoot and hang that bad boy up somewhere you can see it everyday, why? Because everyday you're worth checking your own ass out and reminding yourself of how hot it really is.


"A good quote I found on a tumblr was, 'Models make up a very select group of humans, they should be called Examples.' -J.S

.it don't mean a thing if you ain't got that swing.

Lookbook loves of the evening.

.Why do I ?...

...Want to watch practical magic so badly right now?




Don't be fooled, this is an actual blog tonight.
Fasten your seat belts kids, It's guna' be a bumpy ride.


This was my birthday weekend, and normally birthdays for me are not so good. They're awful; they're disappointing and I often set my expectations high and feel let down bu the end of it. Someone forgets to call, or the weather turns out to be crappy and I feel like someone is getting out a long lost vendetta against me.
The last great birthday I had was spent in Toronto with my friend Dave, just dinkin' around the town, looking at stuff, buying shoes, being silly.
I remember the thing about that year was that I had no expectations of anyone, I didn't think any further than to "Dave and I are going to Toronto".
That's exactly what we did. We went to Toronto and I was happy.
My grandma didn't call that year, my mum was on a bender, my brother was too young to care and there was no party or cake or celebration like that, but compared to all my years since no birthday could compare to how elated I felt that year.
That birthday was my sweet 16th.

Every year since has been awful and I understand now that some of that was me, and some of that was outside influences, but whatever the cause birthdays have generally bit the big one.
So this year I set my expectations low of my friends and family and decided to spend a birthday with just one person and be silly and see how I do.
This was the best birthday since 16.

The friends who did contact me I appreciated so much more, because I didn't expect them to contact me. Pretty messages wishing me love and I sincerely read every line from every person and thought about how wicked that person was and how lucky I was to be surrounded by cool, lovely people. The presents I received this year I cherish and the fact that my friends were with me just makes me feel like a baked chocolate chip cookie inside.
j.s I didn't take this, my very talented friend did.

I spent the first night in Toronto with a friend, catching up, hanging out, being high and listening in on pretty guitar jams that made me cry. Despite this encounter dousing me with too many emotions to deal with it was still nice. It was still real and it reminded me that sometimes disappointments are blessings in disguise, and sometimes a friendship will litterally be able to stand anything. Not a crazy party night by any means but it connected me with some realistic/life affirmation energy I had been seriously missing in my life.
Friday morning was full of happy moments, coffee ,kick ass breakfast and a sleep in before a day date. Yup, a date on my birthday.

About a week ago G.I Joe (the one from my last HMV day) and I decided to hang out on my birthday, because if there's any day to go on a date with a cute boy it might as well been my birthday. If it goes horribly it'll at least be a funny story to tell about turning 22 and if it goes well, then...well I'll have a great date on my birthday.
We went to the ROM and it was soo cool.
Dinosaur bones and the dead sea scrolls and the giant bugs and the bat cave.
He was adorable and took a billion photos.
Did I mention he's also a top notch hugger? I forgot how satisfying hugs are.
I don't know if it was him, the weed we smoked or the fact that we were in the ROM but I felt like, 10 years old around him. I just didn't mind being silly, or talking about what I believed or how I viewed things without holding back.It was an automatic natural comfortable Lauren state and I don't think I've been there since I was doing improv, when the motto was "don't think just be"
He kind of did that for me yesterday. If that's the last time I see him (which I hope its not) then at least I'll have remembered that feeling that comfortable is still possible.
We ate some delicious food.
"Welcome to Gabby's where the servers don't care and the bathrooms were gross"
And went to Bistro on College where we froze our asses off with Frenchie,F-Bomb and her friend. It was a pretty epic night. Cats eating placenta conversations and all.

This morning Kat and I went to Kensington where I was reminded of how magical Toronto can be sometimes. I also satisyfied my shopping addict with some much needed retail.

Tonight was the family dinner and a bottle of wine.


Epic weekend. Thanks ya'll.

.Wednesday is a fun word to spell.

Oh hi there.

I'm so excited for tomorrow, I'll be done work at 4:30 and then I'm heading to Toronto! Woooooooooohooooooooo!

Tomorrow night I'm just going to chill and Friday during the day I'm going to the ROM with a cute boy (aka G.I Joe from the other day at HMV), Friday night there will hopefully be drinks, dancing and possibly a visit with J.Con. All and all it should be a happy birthday.

The new job is...well interesting. I've discovered things about my self, namely dislikes in a mere three days. I have to either suck it up and deal or move on to another job. It's not terrible, don't get me wrong, I'm just wondering if clothing retail is really for me...I'm starting to believe it's not..

So oh well I guess, for now I have to do it until I decide for sure if it's something I can deal with or something I have to ditch. It's only day 4 tomorrow so I have to give it a chance,right?

.my head hurts.

Today I'm frustrated and I miss Toronto way to much.

Is it too soon to go home?

they call them killer whales.

..I'm still waiting to see how Sea World's PR people spin that one.

.Train rides make me sleepy.

I don't have an everyday excuse to be in Toronto anymore.

I'm sad, but not in the empty pit of despair kind of way. More disappointed.

I start a new job tomorrow, but I'm not as excited as I could or should be, nor am I too nervous.

There are situations with certain people that I should be more concerned how the outcome is going to affect me. I should be worried, knowing damn well that when it ends it's probably going to be painful, but I'm not worried.

It's almost as if someone set my emotions to neutral. I'm happy, I know that because I don't feel pain anymore, life is going on smoothly, fun stuff is happening, but I feel so,...beige. Yup, there it is. I feel beige.

Everything is beige.

My dad told me today that in life you're not judged by your mistakes but by the actions you take to rectify them. I've bunged up a whole lot of stuff and taken stupid courses to fix them, so why is it that now, when I think I'm doing everything by the book, the way it should be done, why now do I feel beige when before I at least felt black or blue or grey or red or purple?

This makes sense in my head, I just don't know how to get colour back.
Boring boring beige.

One more cute boy story.

Friday was my last day at HMV.

I thought it might be bitter sweet or something, but really it was just another day at work.
The only somewhat cool thing that happened was a conversation with an adorable boy in the children's section. We started talking about G.I Joe, well he started talking about G.I Joe, and I responded with,
"Umm, I was a power rangers kind of girl".
The conversation went on for a bit while we talked over some highlights of our childhood television experiences and for a minute I forgot I was at work. Sometimes good looking dudes completely blind side me, okay, not sometimes, most times.

So at HMV it's kind of a given that I'm a flirt, I flirt with cute customers. It's also a given that I'm a big pansy and will never do anything about it,despite all the prodding in the world. When I walked away from G.I Joe boy I wasn't surprised to hear one of my co-workers ask "Soooo, did you get a number?"

"Um, no. He was really fricken' cute though, eh?"
The conversation went on like this for a while as we stood behind cash and scoped him out.
"um, yeah, Lauren..yeeeeah"
"He kind of had fangs, did you see that? like he's a vampire or something."
"That could be hot, you weirdo."
"Oh man, he was asking about AstroBoy and Transformers...how can he get any hotter?"
"Was he asking for that stuff for him?"
"Well, yeah."
"Hmm, not exactly my type...I don't really go for dudes that could or could not still have ninja turtle sheets, but go for it"
"Naww"
"Well, it's your last day, man up or, you know, get out of the manly kitchen"

So I walked up to him and asked him to forgive me for what I was about to do, which was make him awkward, and I asked him to ignore the fact that I was wearing a twilight t-shirt, then I told him he was adorable, and should be told so on a daily basis.
"Um, and you know, now that I've made things weird I'm going to go hide in the back, so yeah, you're really cute...and I'm going now because my face feels like it's kind of turning red, so you know...Bye!"
"Wait! You're just going to drop a bomb on me then run away?"
"Um, yup. Totally, that's exactly what I'm going to do."

I expected him to leave, but he didn't he just keep walking around. So I hid behind cash, and anytime he'd catch my eye I'd turn red and scurry off to pretend I was filing or some shit like that.
Then he walked up to cash his stuff out.
And stood right in front of me.
And I really tried to ignore him, but he just kept standing there.
So I cashed him out.
It was super awkward.

He didn't ask me for my number, or my name, so once I cashed him out I ducked my head again and went back to pretending I was writing something.

"He's still here...he's lingering at the door, he's leeeavvv...nope, he's walking back, nope, now he's walking to the dooo, nope there he comes again, okay, so he's pacing...Lauren, fuck, just give him your number" My co-worker whispered to me.

I looked up and sure enough, there he was, beet red and pacing.

"Hey! My name's Lauren Schell, look it up?" I said.

And today my friends, he totally did.

I am tiiired, Kat & I went shopping today. She's been putting me up on her couch any night that I've needed to stay over in Toronto while I was commuting, so I asked her if I could buy her wine or pick up the tab for dinner sometime to thank her.

She asked me to "What not to wear" her wardrobe instead.

Sooo today we woke up early and went through her entire wardrobe.

"This is my winter skirt, it's velour, but I do not know what that's called in English..."
"It's called ugly."

Donated a pile of ugly, old clothes, found new ways to wear her old stuff, took pictures of everything so she could see how amazing she looks and then took off for the mall.

Fuck, it was madness. H&M was so busy we could barely walk through the damn place.

She picked up some really awesome pieces there.

So here are some shots we took when we got back to her place, some are blurry, but F' it. Who cares, she looks fucking smokin'.



This skirt is adorable,$30.00 from H&M, the tshirt and cropped cardi we saved from the chuck bin.



A high waisted gem she hadn't worn in a long while. She picked out this belt at H&M, $15.00, I didn't like it but she proved me wrong.



Blouse $19.95, Shorts $29.99 ,H&M

Awesome navy blue military blazer. $35.oo, H&M




This is one of my favourites, Kat found this little gem. $33.00, Forever21







She's so pretty.





Pretty electric blue blouse,$19.99, H&M

This was my favourite shot. She looks so happy.


Now if only someone would take ME shopping. I need a new outfit, or two, or a billion.
Yummy thai food and a viewing of 'Heathers' rounded the night of nicely. Tomorrow I say "Peace Out" Toronto and have one more day off until the new job. Ack! I'm freaking out!

Chiatchi good shit.

Even my finger tips are happy.

I'm just really happy right now, man.



Do you ever think about, like, space, maaan?

"Baby, Baby ,Baby, I've got this burnin', yearnin'.." "somethin something"


"When I was a kid I decided to nick name my wang 'Magic Johnson', then like , a week later he was diagnosed with AIDS...I was so embarrassed, the kids totally made fun of me, for like, so long, after that"


The fucking Supremes are playing right now, how fucking grand is that? Graaand, now I sound reaaal classy, right?
Sitting in the back of an SUV today with my fellow jube jube lover. "JUBE JUBES!" In the front seat was a couple, younger than us, talking about careers. "JUBE JUBES!"
I wish I had a jube jube.

"I fucking hate watching funny videos with my friends, fuck that, just,fuck"

"I have some awesome bookmarks" opps, that wasn't a quote, I thought she wanted to be quoted. I guess not, don't quote at all man.
"But now I'm censoring, man. That's not cool"


Are you still reading this? Are you wondering why? I am. Why the fuck are you still reading this? Do you think it's funny? No? Well I do, so piss off. Haha, naw, I'm just kidding, you're awesome man, just keep reading,but I don't really know what the fuck is going on anymore, I guess I didn't in the first place. You know, just writing because I have a keyboard in my head and my finger tips started moving so I figured , one day someone might want to read this and look back on my last days of my twenty first year. It was awesome, for the record. 2010 was the best thing ever. I haven't had a single bad day, shitty stuff here and there ,but really...it's all good. This is mainly due to some solid Toronto people. Mainly the three of them. They just keep me sane in separate awesome ways.
Shes like a surrogate mom.
She makes me laugh and just chills out and shuts up.
He is the sweetest dude ever and just gets it all.

They are the best friends, ever. Toronto is what it is because they love me.
and I love them.
I love you, I love you, I love you.

I guess I'm just going off in all directions right now, I'm just happy, and hungry, and happy. ..and I'm going to be so sad if they forget about me.
I miss Peterborough people.
I don't want to miss Toronto too.

C'est la fucking vie.
I want to cuddle. Damnit.


Oh well, let's get a big mac.

Today & Tomorrow

Today was an awesome start to spring.

Sleeping in, tea & ciggys and then a walk through downtown Toronto. There is nothing better than Toronto in the spring.

Tomorrow is my last day at HMV, I'm a little sad to leave and a whole bucket full of nervous about the new job. It reminds me of my first day at a new school when I was young. I'll have my new outfit, new pens and notebooks and a new friends to make and new things to learn. Ah! I just got butterflies thinking about it. I figure since I've adapted to everything else with ease this should be okay too. Don't think for a second though that I'm not going to miss Toronto with everything I've got. It's home for me now and no matter where I am I'll always wonder "What's going on in T.O tonight?"
At least now I know where I wanna go after this Burlington adventure. Right back to where I was. Right back into Toronto's loving arms.

Toronto is my boyfriend. We're on a break right now,seeing other people, however we know we're perfect together just not quite ready for the committment, so we'll stay friends... but we're still sleeping together on occasional weekends.

Tomorrow! How'd you get here so soon?

.Anniversaries & March Madness!

March 11th, 2010: Two years of HMV
March 20th,2010: One year of My Cluttered Conscious.
March 26,2010: 22 years of Lauren Schell.
March 31,2010: One year since the breakup from hell.
March 19th, 2010: Last day of HMV.
March 22,2010: First day as an Assitant manager at GUESS


March is always so busy.

Jenny Conroy, I love you.

Dear Jenny Conroy,
Do you remember this blog? I do, it was after one of our epic talks about life and love during what I lovingly refer to as my "dark ages." I just re-read this and it made me cry with laughter, so I thought I'd re-blog it and thank you for being epic.
Love,
Lauren. xoxoxo <3




"I went and bought cat litter because Alex had a stinky litter box.

Wouldn't you know , the SECOND after I change the litter he comes along and takes a MASSIVE of all massive poos.

Why is it that I make something nice and he has to come along and shit on it IMMEDIATELY.

There are too many parallels between my cat taking a dump and my current state of love affairs.

I think Ugh, stinky litter box,stinky life, so I go out of my way to get fresh litter,a fresh life, make it clean, get baking soda...make it perfect,make it smells like roses
Then some ASS has to come and not only shit, but take a HUGE STINKY shit all over my perfect clean thing, my perfect clean life.

And for a second I thought E was the cat in the parallel. You know, always shitting on stuff, but I think that might be giving him too much credit.
He's the shit, or a shit in this case.
A big poo.
Always reoccurring.
In this case he just happens to be the same shit, just a different pile.

Jenny says " Shitting is a natural process, you can't be mad"

So I can't begrudge him for being a shit I suppose, because being a poo, a shit, is all he really knows.

Jenny says "Shit happens, it's just about learning the right time to shit"

However, I figure, when there's a poo, I can and will say "EWW Poopy!" and get the damn scoop out and rid myself of that icky-ness.

Jenny says "just remember that timing is everything when it comes to shit. because there will always be shit. you just gotta learn how to handle it and its timing. In regards to E, leave his litter box alone for a few days. if you cater to him and clean it right now, you're just inviting him to take a big ol' steamy dump right away."

There have never been truer words Jenny. Truer, shittier words. "

.Back to the basics.

It's been a while, I haven't written in months, and I'm pretty sure I've lost all my style.
But I'll give it go and return to the basics because sometimes alliterations and rhymes are all I know.

We'll start with something simple. love. dove. growth above. Did you see that? I went A A B A, Or how bout to you I promised to always be true and you took my poetry away?


So now copious creations are crawling from my cranium
Craving crowds, crying out
"Let's give direct direction!"
So I'll direct this direction to all of your attention, to the lonely wordless place I hid and hopefully through this I'll undo all of the hurt to me that's been done and been did.
When left is right and right is wrong and in my gut I feared it for so long,to let the pen hit paper and do its thing, now finally I've got words back, here's a letter to you; I won't let you hold me back again.
Not that you had a real grasp cause in reality it's only just me holding me back. One hand binding the other, teeth biting tongue creating a once non existent stutter.
Real words stopping at my teeth, resisting the need to write something stupid, or silly or possibly deep.
Lost the therapeutic and after all of this now I can't give the therapy back because I'm the one who needs it.
And darlin' it's your fault I couldn't sleep because behind these eye lashes it was always you haunting my dreams. Not with words but with pictures of memories I can't describe.
Cutting me down, hurting my soul and telling me that my poetry was just a waste of time.
"No body's listening, you're talking to yourself and baby it makes you un divine"
But fuck it, it doesn't matter if the masses are listening or if they're deaf the only thing that matters is that I'm constantly winning against your test. Well, not your test, but a trial created by people like you. Who show no mercy and use words to cut and cut through. To see no beauty in any thing, to put a stop to love. People like you challenge people like me to keep reaching for the goal above. It's true I might never get there, it's true I'm sometimes going to fail but people like you hate people like me because even if I fall you know I'll eventually get there.

So back to the basics, re learning the words that I was so afraid I had lost.
Love. Strength, friendships, truth and a renewed faith in me all above.

.Darlin' I'm tired.

This is why Ian is one of my greatest friends ever. Watch this, if it doesn't break your heart just a little then you're a cyborg.

.Ok, I'm almost done.

This is one of my favourite songs right now off an unbelievable album. Pick up Heligoland if you don't have it. Trip-hop slowed down mixed with sex for the ears.

Mmmmmm.

.Contin.

For those who slept, for those who wept.

.My friend Alex Peach.

Has put me into a youtube music fit.

oh good music.

In your eyes babe.

.Oh heart thee.

Band Of Skulls.
They're killing me softly with their songs.
It reminds me of 90's alt rock straight out of my childhood. 13 years old,staying up late listening to Velvet Chain on my disc man.

Dig it. I do.

.For the record.

"Never make some a priority when to them you're only an option."

Would it be overly cheesy if I told Britt this tomorrow? I wonder if he'd roll his eyes at my over dramatics. So maybe I won't say it but you know it'll be on loop in my head.

I'm unsure as to why I'm even writing about him. I don't really care at the end of the night. I'm not lonely, I'm very happy minus the extreme boredom at my current situation.So why the boy post? Probably because I'm too stoned to write about zombies or the cool story I heard tonight, just sitting here... Waiting for gummy bears.

I think somewhere in the back of my mind, in that deep part of my subconscious I know that I really should stop chasing boys, it doesn't make me any less bored with life and none of them are any thing close to what I want.

So, on that note, this note is now no note-ish.

.Hearts.

Watch this.

http://www.blogotheque.net/The-Tallest-Man-on-Earth,4817


I want a room like this one day. All my musician friends could come over and play. It'd be like a free concert.

.My friend is lovely.

My lovely friend sent me this while we were in the middle of a three day post-fight stand off.

"I put no one above us. We'll still be friends when this all turns to dust"


On my really lonely nights I listen to this song and remember that I'm loved.
So, listen to this song and know you're loved too. <3
xo

Rant & Roar.

My friend Andrea is pretty damn smart.

She posted this up today.

http://nightofthelivingdeadgirl.blogspot.com/2010/03/kat-von-fail.html?spref=fb


I think you should read it.

.don't call me crazy until you've tried this.

Hey Ya'll.




So for the past couple of weeks I've been obsessed with making homemade facial masks. I have lots of time, a sparse social life and there aren't many prospects on the dating front, so, what the heck, why not spend my free time turning my kitchen into a laboratory...A laboratory of beauty.

I've researched and tried a couple of these masks so I thought I should post them and share the wealth. Honestly, don't shun me for being a weirdo until you've tried at least one of these recipes.

A basic exfoliating scrub for all skin types :
Mix Brown Sugar and Olive Oil until it becomes a paste massage it into your face and rinse.

For Dry Skin:
1/2 a teaspoon of honey (I found the runnier the better)
1 egg yolk
1 table spoon dried milk powder

mix into a paste and apply, keep it on for about 10-15 minutes and rinse. I'm more of a combination skin type so I was worried this would make my nose and cheeks too oily but my skin just felt super soft after this.

For Oily Skin:
1 Banana, mashed, the riper the better because it still has a ton of nutriants in it.
1 tablespoon of honey
A few drops of lemon juice (I substituted with juice from a fresh orange, it smelled yummy!)

Apply mixture to face, leave on for about 10-15 minutes , then rinse with warm water. I wanted to eat this mixture. I found using a milk wash after this really made my skin feel glow-y.

Little extras that I love:
Lemons are wonderful, they're natural astringents.After washing your face,dip a cotton ball in fresh lemon juice and wipe over your face for some skin tightening awesomeness . Watch out for your eyes and avoid using this if you have any open cuts, obviously it's not the nicest feeling getting lemon juice in your eyeballs. I was surprised how much dirt came off my face when I used this, defintly a lot more than my store bought astringents.


Milk is also a nifty little beauty supply.Dip a cotton ball(How I adore those balls , hehe) in milk and wipe over your face, let dry, then rinse with warm water. Just watch how freakin' soft your face is. Don't use right after the lemons, it'll make your face smell like baby vomit. Use instead with honey or brown sugar scrubs for a more pleasant smell.

Honey is also another staple. I like to mix it with a little brown sugar and use as a lip scrub, rinse off and apply some vasaline for super soft puckers. This can get a little messy if the honey is super runny. Have a wash cloth handy or be ready to lick off your fingers when you're done.



If you're hung over cucumbers are your best friend, grind those bad boys up and use the mush mix all over your face. Cucumber Juice tightens the skin while hydrating it, throw some cucumbers on your eyes to help reduce under eye baggage.


Don't you look so pretty? Mhmm, yeah you do.

I miss Peterborough

I would totally be at the Only right now, having a Sir Perry's on the patio if I could.

A preview

Just to get a feel for what slam is

Slam Slam Slam.

I cannot express properly how much I miss poetry slams.

I really believe at one very low point in my life they saved me from going crazy and lonely and eating too many icecream sandwichs while wallowing in depression.
The Peterborough Poetry Slam.
What a great collection of people. There aren't words to describe how welcoming everyone was. The point wasn't to beat someone else with a better poem; the point was poetry. Reading it, sharing it, enjoying it,hating it, feeling it and cheering everyone on all the way from round 1 to the announcement of who "won" the night.
For a moment there I felt like I had a solid grip on who I was when I got the chance to slam on stage.

For some reason I stopped going, stopped reading my written work. Maybe it's because I was afraid I couldn't write anymore, maybe it's because I was belittled and lost some self esteem. Whatever the fuck the reason I miss it and I want it back. Soooo,on March 14th I'm going to watch the Toronto Poetry Slam finals, you should come too, I bet you'd really get a kick out of it. Then next month I'm going to put on my big girl pants, suck up whatever aniexities I have and get back on stage. You should come out for that too.

Go here for more information.
http://torontopoetryslam.com/