I've thought a lot about the fog that comes with being in love...and I wondered, are we all just blinded when involved with someone? and if that's the case are we just the blind leading the blind?
Does a person need to step-back and out of a relationship to be able to really see if the one they were with, was in short, the one?
I hung out with my ex today and it was generally a well-rounded day, we talked, shopped for a rug for his house and visited the toy shop. Throughout the whole thing I (as I do) analyzed our entire joke of a relationship. We were together for 3 measly months and we never really argued, however, I never felt like he was really invested in me or us, or anything for that matter that didn't revolve around him. I could clearly see him; now that the fog had lifted, that he is a nice enough guy but definitely not someone I could ever co-exist sanely with.
Then I thought about my current relationship with Ell,Or 'hiatus' of a relationship: We are fighting all the bloody time. Yet, we're in love so neither of us can really see the bigger picture.Is it that I'm just too self involved or that he's not compassionate enough,or both..or neither?!
Is he right for me? Am I right for him?Do we fight because we care or is it because we're just too different and if we're fighting so much does that mean we're just having a passionate encounter or are we just crusin' for a brusin'?
Maybe we're closest masochists.
I have no idea.
The only real conclusion that I came to was how I felt through my fog with my ex and how I feel right now. Before I just wanted to be done and over with it, to be clear sighted and move on.
This time I don't care that I'm walking blind, I just want Ell there with me when I do it.
Que sera sera, whatever will be , will be. The future's not ours to see, Que sera sera.
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